Valentine’s Day is near, which means a Facebook feed of engagement ring selfies might also be. It’s not as popular for proposals as Christmas and New Year’s, but it’s up there.
Two things on this.
1. I came across an article from The Knot about taking the perfect engagement ring selfie. Photo from it above.
2. But I’ve also I read an article by The Cut saying posting engagement ring selfies online is obnoxious.
I’m torn. On one hand, I enjoy seeing a friend’s new engagement ring, and I get the desire to share a big moment and the bauble that signifies it.
That said, I didn’t post my own engagement ring closeup on Facebook. It felt a little too much like I’d be saying: “Hey world, look at this expensive thing that now lives on my finger!” It made me uncomfortable. The Cut article specifically didn’t like the focus on an object, rather than the relationship.
So here’s my advice on engagement ring selfies:
Post on Facebook thoughtfully. Consider posting it to a select group of close friends on Facebook, not all your Facebook friends at large. Everyone will know what’s up when you change your relationship status, so they’ll figure out what happened eventually.
Skip posting on Twitter. It involves an awful lot of strangers. You wouldn’t walk up to these people on the street and point out your engagement ring, right? No need to do it photographically either.
I may let you have Instagram. It’s so photo-centric window into our lives that it makes the most sense. But again, think about how large your following is and whether those followers are primarily friends or not. For a long time, my Instagram was set to “private,” and I was followed by only a small group of friends. This group would have made more sense to share an engagement ring selfie with than the current open form of my Instagram profile.
Consider making the photo less about the ring. The Cut author only minds the context-free engagement ring closeup. They aren’t bothered by its precursor — the couple with the girl’s hand and ring held up to see. It makes it more about the couple and less about the ring, and so, more palatable — and post-able — to many.
If you do post a photo, tell the important people — family, best friends — about the engagement first, before posting a photo or changing your status on Facebook. They shouldn’t find out when everyone else does.
Certainly, there are exceptions. Feel free to tell me about them — along with whether you’re for or against engagement ring selfies!
It's good etiquette to share what you like!